Log 5: Don't want this to be a journal

Thinking about trust lately. I don’t seem to trust myself, forget about other people. I used to think that people who are selective about their friends are really snobbish and think they can control the environment around them but suddenly in the light of recent events, I just think that they are wiser.

I am suddenly finding it hard to trust people around me. The people who seem unnaturally nice — suddenly that’s not fascinating in fact my scepticism brings me to conclusions that I should steer clear of these people. Maybe I might be missing out on missing amazing people, but where I am currently in my life mentally, I would rather surround myself with people I can trust. Here’s the simple rule, if I can call the person without any hesitation, they stay. That is, only if they want to.

Here’s the thing about having friends who’re not in the inner circle, you don’t put in any sort of effort in that friendship. It’s like buying a cheap cactus. You water it once and week and don’t cry if it dies. You have exhaustive resources and might as well put them in things/relationship that have a lower chance of backstabbing.

I don’t want this to be a journal entry, then again, this is part of my log. This is something I want the older Meghana to read. I think I am writing this for someone specific and want them to read it.

I am sure that I am not in the right mental state right now

Felt insane cute will delete later.

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